She likes to write. Encourage her.
Whatever you do, do not let her drink.
When she does, let her dance,
let her smoke another cigarette,
and let her yell at you.
Listen to her, because chances are
she is telling you that she loves you,
and this is a memory you do not want to forget.
Do not expect a lot of help from her friends.
They do not know about you,
and you should have been prepared for that.
You should have expected that.
She likes secrets, and this just shows
you were the most important one to keep.
Be prepared to be tackled when she is happy.
Wish her a happy birthday, and do not be late.
She will be elated. She will hold such joy
within her heart, that you will not even believe
that you were the one to cause such happiness.
Celebrate her enough for the both of you.
If she says she is going to kill you,
do not assume that it is a metaphor.
When she plays you a song, listen to it throughly.
This is her way of communicating everything
she cannot speak.
If she is feeling down, close the blinds
and crawl into bed. Wrap yourself around her
and watch twelve hours of whatever
ridiculous television show she has chosen,
because those are the times
she will appreciate the most.
Repeat to yourself that she will love you one day,
and some day you will start to believe it.
Finally, your time with her will be the happiest
you have been in your entire life. Enjoy it.
|—||"10 rules to follow in your relationship with her." - Mariah Gordon-Dyke (via larmoyante)|
ALICE ROOSEVELT WAS HARDCORE. “She was known as a rule-breaker in an era when women were under great pressure to conform. The American public noticed many of her exploits. She smoked cigarettes in public, swore at officials, rode in cars with men, stayed out late partying, kept a pet snake named Emily Spinach (Emily as in her spinster aunt and Spinach for its green color) in the White House, and was seen placing bets with a bookie.
If y’all use a decent box mix and use melted butter instead of vegetable oil, an extra egg, and milk instead of water, no one can tell the difference. I sure as hell can’t.
Also, if you add a little almond extract to vanilla cake, or a little coffee to chocolate cake, it sends it through the roof.
This concludes me attempting to be helpful.
This made me laugh so hard!
when will your history ever
Girl: I don’t date boys
Girl: I date men